Facebook – what’s not to love? Where would we be without 24 access to the honeymoon pictures of our second cousin, twice removed?
With nearly 33 million adults in the UK alone having an account, one thing is for sure, Facebook is a major part of our online lives.
While some would call the social networking site a revolutionary way of staying connected with people, others criticise it for being a lazy way to network and a poor replacement for real-time socialising.
Whatever your opinion on it, Facebook has done one thing for sure – breed sub-divisions of people who really should not be allowed access to social media.
From irritating newlyweds to miserable b*****ds, here are 18 types of people you should defriend from Facebook immediately.
1. The filter queen
Who forgets that, unlike Instagram, the majority of her Facebook followers actually know her and therefore are aware of what she looks like IRL. The filters ain’t fooling us love.
2. The ‘liker’
Every. Sodding. Post.
3. The cryptic over-sharer
4. The wellness guru
Yoga retreats in Koh Samui, early morning meditation sessions and pictures of gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free muffins.
#happy #abundance #grateful #gratitude #mood #love #goodvibes #blessed
#defriend
5. The inspirational quoter
‘Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people’
Or defriend all the w***rs on your timeline.
6. The miserable b*****d
I f***ing hate Mondays, my life is s**t, *another* parking ticket, Camden council are a bunch of w***ers, it’s 2am and I can’t sleep, why do I always feel…
Oh, do shut up.
7. The bragger
Because we totally want to see pictures of your weekend in St Tropez on our Monday morning commute in the rain.
8. Your ex-boyfriend
No good can come of this.
9. The newlyweds
After 16 months of ‘bride to be’ links, potential venue reviews and reminders every other day that ‘OMG I’m getting married!!!” you’d think the novelty would wear off.
Not for the newlywed *17,655 photos later*
10. The new mum
Because she’s the first person to have ever had a sleepless night.
Like a social media contraceptive – follow the new mum on Facebook and never want to see another child again.
11. Your mum
That witty anecdote about your drunken one-night stand last weekend? Not so funny when you get a wink from your mum.
12. Cat people
Videos of cats getting stuck in boxes, up trees and in toilets.
Totes hilare.
13. The viral sharer
Every top ten known to man.
*Weeps*
14. The Corbyn groupie
Because every day is a good day to be a political activist on social media.
15. The foodie
Who doesn’t need another picture of smashed avocado on sourdough in their life?
16. The essayist
This is Facebook not an Ancient History masters degree exam.
17. Some bloke you shagged at a festival
Either that or he’s your third cousin from Australia – you can’t quite remember.
18. Anybody doing a sponsored run
Dawn runs and spinach smoothies when you’ve got a killer hangover?
Nobody needs that negativity in their life.
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